Salam and a very good morning to all..
Today i'll discuss about how they approach to their family. Marrying other people whom came from other culture,background,religion or perhaps from other country is not easy as ABC. If you want to marry people with same culture and religion, you don't face any big challenges like marrying to other people that have many differences from your culture. Thus, when the couple are ready to get married, they must approch their family rightly because not all members in the family could accept people from different culture, background,religion and country as their new members in the family. For the old generation, they tend to like people that have similarities with them, it is because they could control and reserve ther tradition and heritage. In my opinion, the couple firstly must get the bless from the older generation in their family. They should bring their partner in the early stage of the relationship so that their partner be able to learn about the other family's tradition and manage to be accustomed with it. Besides that, the partner together with the family themselves guide and teach their better half anything they need to know about each other culture. In addition in order to approach the family,the could also consistently visits their partner family. For those family who is open, and could accept ,it is easy to approach because they might be understand the challanges to marry other people from other culture. For those family who aren't it is important to get their blessing because it is important for the couple to know each other family structure and etiquette,culture and upbringing because it is not the same with marrrying people from the same culture.
I guess thats all from me. Thanks. Anyhow,if you have anything to share about this,just let us know. (:
2 comments:
Good thought to keep close contact to the "new" family. The Asian and the Western idea of a family is different, and it needs a lot of learning and understanding.
In Western world family by blood is valued less, and friendship valued more. It was not easy for for my wife to get into my family, because a marriage does not mean, that she really is a part of my family. In Western world, the family is more to a club: you can enter by sharing the same thoughts. Often close friends also count as a part of the family.
When I entered my new Asian family, I felt immediately being a member. Except for the elder people, they did not call me with my name, but with my new title: Atuk. All were very friendly to me from the beginning, without knowing me before.
Christopher
It's pretty much the same here, in-laws are not entirely and at once accepted. Worse case is when the "new family" despises their "new" member for some reasons like background, etc even if it's within culture. Just to say that this doesn't only occur in an intercultural marriage but marriage generally.
I have to say that it's YOU (the one who get into the new family) who have to know how to get along well and be optimistic as possible. As I believe, if you've chosen to get married (to me you've chosen something you like much enough to stick with it for the rest of your life), no matter how hard the obstacles would be, you're motivated to keep holding on.
=)
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